McSWEENEY'S LITERARY ARTS FUND
Need a gift idea? Donate to McSweeney’s in a friend or loved one’s name. We’ll email you a specially designed certificate to print or email to let them know of your sparkling generosity. And from now through December 25, any donation will be doubled by generous donors.
Articles by
Sarah Schmelling
Sarah Schmelling is a humor writer and journalist in Washington, DC. She’s contributed to the New Yorker, the New York Times, the Washington Post, and many parent-y publications, and is the author of a humor book that grew out of a McSweeney’s piece.
-
December 13, 2023Mary Bailey’s Christmas Week To-Do List
-
January 11, 2022Please, World, in a Time of Infinite Darkness, Just Let Us Have Wordle
-
September 19, 2017Other ‘Talk-Like-a…’ Days
-
December 3, 2014Ten Things to NEVER Say to a Stay-at-Home Viking
-
November 27, 2013You Are a Gravy Boat
-
September 22, 2011Goldilocks Reviews the Sunshine Mary Jane Pump on Zappos
-
March 25, 2010Other Things On My List Besides Your Kiss
-
January 11, 2010Mom Takes Children’s Songs Literally
-
July 30, 2008Hamlet (Facebook News Feed Edition)
-
May 24, 2006Ryan Seacrest Breaks Bad News
-
May 6, 2002Overheard at the Fall 2001 Microprocessing Development Conference, in San Jose, California
-
November 9, 2000The Election: Two Transcripts
Trending 🔥
Recently
-
December 20, 2024Great Philosophers on Santa’s Naughty and Nice Lists
-
December 20, 2024An Art Nouveau Calendar for a Terrible Fucking Year
-
December 19, 2024An Open Letter to Sarah from Love Actually, to Be Delivered In the Two Seconds Before She Answers Her Phone for the Second Time While Karl Is Tenderly Dry Humping Her
-
December 19, 2024A Producer Attempts to Pitch The Nutcracker