The Believer Magazine
Articles by
Scott Bolohan
Scott Bolohan is a potential award-winning writer. He is the founder of The Twin Bill, a literary baseball publication. He lives with a Roomba and his succulent, Robert Plant.
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February 18, 2021Abandoning Your Freezing Constituents? Come to Cancún!
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January 8, 2021An Annotated Guide to Trump’s Cabinet Members’ Resignations
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December 11, 2020We’re Imposing an Indoor-Dining Ban Again, So Here Are Some Business Tips Since We Won’t Be Offering Any More Financial Assistance
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November 6, 2020We Are Not Commenting on the Actions of the President We Have Enthusiastically Supported Until Just Now
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October 5, 2020Rebels, Please Join Me in Wishing Emperor Palpatine Well
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August 25, 2020“New Jersey Will Also Never Die,” By David Puddy
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August 17, 2020Hey Ladies, I’m Short, Balding, and Unemployed, But I Have the Antibodies
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May 26, 2020The Quarantine Emails of Normal People’s Connell and Marianne
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April 24, 2020The Last Glance: The Horace Grant Story
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April 9, 2020I Am Using My Free Time to Not Write a Novel
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
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February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
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February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
Recently
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February 21, 2025Don’t Tread on Me—Unless You’re a Billionaire with a Ketamine Addiction, in Which Case I Enthusiastically Support It
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February 21, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Finding Win Ng
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February 21, 2025Why I Chose to Reenter the Matrix and Be a Living Battery for the Machines
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February 20, 2025Take Him Seriously, Not Literally