ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Scott Bolohan
Scott Bolohan is a potential award-winning writer. He is the founder of The Twin Bill, a literary baseball publication. He lives with a Roomba and his succulent, Robert Plant.
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February 18, 2021Abandoning Your Freezing Constituents? Come to Cancún!
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January 8, 2021An Annotated Guide to Trump’s Cabinet Members’ Resignations
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December 11, 2020We’re Imposing an Indoor-Dining Ban Again, So Here Are Some Business Tips Since We Won’t Be Offering Any More Financial Assistance
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November 6, 2020We Are Not Commenting on the Actions of the President We Have Enthusiastically Supported Until Just Now
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October 5, 2020Rebels, Please Join Me in Wishing Emperor Palpatine Well
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August 25, 2020“New Jersey Will Also Never Die,” By David Puddy
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August 17, 2020Hey Ladies, I’m Short, Balding, and Unemployed, But I Have the Antibodies
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May 26, 2020The Quarantine Emails of Normal People’s Connell and Marianne
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April 24, 2020The Last Glance: The Horace Grant Story
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April 9, 2020I Am Using My Free Time to Not Write a Novel
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner