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Articles by
Shannon J. Curtin
Shannon J. Curtin is poet, essayist, humor writer, and novelist whose work has been featured in The New Yorker, Hobart, Reader’s Digest, Points in Case, AARP, and other publications. She holds an MBA, competitive shooting records, and her liquor. She would probably like you. Her first novel Stay Center=, came out in May 2024.
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August 20, 2024Your Project Proposal Titled “Attend Kindergarten” Has Been Rejected
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February 7, 2023Correspondence with My Preschooler Regarding Our Updated Dinner Policy
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March 21, 2022Your Preschooler Explains Tonight’s Bedtime Menu
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December 23, 2020New Year’s Resolutions for Toddlers
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September 9, 2020Welcome to Chopped: Toddler Dinner Hour
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July 7, 2020My Toddler Emails a Complaint to Customer Service
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February 19, 2020Self-Care Tips for Toddlers
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November 6, 2019My 11-Month-Old Baby’s HR Discrimination Complaint
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September 10, 2019Panels For the Association of Parents Who Watch Too Much Preschool Programming Conference
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July 15, 2019A Preschooler’s Guide to Managing Your Personal Assistant
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner