The Believer Magazine
Articles by
Shannon J. Curtin
Shannon J. Curtin is poet, essayist, humor writer, and novelist whose work has been featured in The New Yorker, Hobart, Reader’s Digest, Points in Case, AARP, and other publications. She holds an MBA, competitive shooting records, and her liquor. She would probably like you. Her first novel Stay Center=, came out in May 2024.
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August 20, 2024Your Project Proposal Titled “Attend Kindergarten” Has Been Rejected
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February 7, 2023Correspondence with My Preschooler Regarding Our Updated Dinner Policy
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March 21, 2022Your Preschooler Explains Tonight’s Bedtime Menu
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December 23, 2020New Year’s Resolutions for Toddlers
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September 9, 2020Welcome to Chopped: Toddler Dinner Hour
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July 7, 2020My Toddler Emails a Complaint to Customer Service
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February 19, 2020Self-Care Tips for Toddlers
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November 6, 2019My 11-Month-Old Baby’s HR Discrimination Complaint
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September 10, 2019Panels For the Association of Parents Who Watch Too Much Preschool Programming Conference
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July 15, 2019A Preschooler’s Guide to Managing Your Personal Assistant
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
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February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
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February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
Recently
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February 21, 2025Don’t Tread on Me—Unless You’re a Billionaire with a Ketamine Addiction, in Which Case I Enthusiastically Support It
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February 21, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Finding Win Ng
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February 21, 2025Why I Chose to Reenter the Matrix and Be a Living Battery for the Machines
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February 20, 2025Take Him Seriously, Not Literally