ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Sigmund Stern
Sigmund Stern also contributes to The Onion and co-wrote King of the Egg Cream, a radio play for the web about the real-life gangster who controlled chocolate syrup in 1920s NYC. He lives in Sydney, Australia, near the two playful huskies he’d like to have to pad his bio.
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January 3, 2022I, Raskolnikov, Take the Men’s Health New Year Reboot Challenge
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August 3, 2018Pickup Lines for Hetero Cis Males to Use in Today’s Health-Conscious World
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December 19, 2008The Gutenberg Christmas Catalogue, 1608
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August 13, 2007Gentile Culture Is A Beautiful Thing
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April 16, 2007At My Power Seder Table
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner