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All posts tagged

beaches

August 17, 2022

There Are Far More Things to Worry About at Our Beach Than Shark Attacks

by David Guzman
July 8, 2022

For Your Crimes You Have Been Sentenced to a Beach Vacation

by Caleb Coy
July 6, 2021

I Am Poseidon, God of the Sea, Reminding You That Every Body Is a Beach Body (But Specifically Virgins Undefiled by the Lusts of Mortal Men)

by Mary Ann Barfield
September 17, 2020

It’s Just a Beach Read

by Madeleine Trebenski
July 26, 2019

Enjoy Your Family Summer Vacation At the Beach House Your Father-In-Law Rented For 18 People

by Jessica Delfino
July 12, 2019

The Things They Carried to the Jersey Shore

by Kevin Lawson
April 1, 2019

How to Have a Beach-Ready Body That Is Eight Feet Tall and Weighs 190 Pounds of Blind, Nightmarish Fury

by Emma Kernahan
August 25, 2016

Ways to Keep the Teeming Hordes of Humanity From Stealing Your Valuables at the Beach

by Rebecca Turkewitz
May 27, 2016

Murder Beach is Open for Summer!

by Matt Bower
August 8, 2014

Anne Sexton’s Summer Bikini Tips

by Arabella Anderson

Trending 🔥

October 15, 2024

I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About

by Sam Woods
September 20, 2024

It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers

by Colin Nissan
August 19, 2024

Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056

by Ben Parker, Stephanie Steinbrecher, Kelsey Ronan, John McMurtrie, Sophia DuRose, Rachel Villa, and Amy Sumerton
October 28, 2024

The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets

by Katryn Bury

Recently

November 1, 2024

I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6

by Lauren Thoman
November 1, 2024

270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq

by Aquilino Gonell
November 1, 2024

Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches

by Devorah Blachor
October 31, 2024

This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner

by Matthew Brian Cohen