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All posts tagged
ex-boyfriends
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May 15, 2018Ten Things My Ex-Boyfriend Explained to Me When I Forgot That He is a “Woke” Cisgender White Male Who Has Definitely Checked His Privilege
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January 31, 2017Angry Voicemails to Congress or Texts to a Cheating Boyfriend?
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May 26, 2015Your Ex-Boyfriend Tim Won a Sweet Prize at Dave & Buster’s Because You Lurked His Most Recent Ex’s Pinterest and Six Other Ways You Are Positively Impacting Tim’s Life with Your Self-Destructive Social Media Habits
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August 6, 2010An Open Letter to the Cashiers at Safeway Who Thank Me By the Wrong Name
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April 9, 2010An Open Letter to the Glorious New Couple That Rose Like a Phoenix from the Infernal Failure That Was My Last Relationship
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April 17, 2009Unrhymed Couplets Written Upon Learning My Ex Scored a Five-Figure Book Deal
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August 21, 2008T-Shirts My Ex-Boyfriends Would Wear in a More Honest World
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March 19, 2007My Rejected Design Theme for J.Crew’s Summer Catalog
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August 23, 1999Reviews of Stories I’ve Recently Heard
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner