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September 5, 2019Predictions for Every NFL Team
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February 3, 2017Oh, Am I Ever Angry With the Opposing Sports Team Right Now!
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September 9, 2016Son, Don’t Make Any Weird Faces During This Sporting Event or You’ll Probably Become an Internet Meme
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February 6, 2012Purchase This World Champion’s Locker Room T-Shirt and Associate Yourself With Greatness
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February 20, 2010I Am the Man Who Paints His Face With the American Flag and Goes to Olympic Curling Matches and Bangs A Cowbell
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February 5, 2010I Am the Man Who Paints His Entire Head and Face to Resemble the Helmet of His Favorite Football Team
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October 19, 2007Progressive-Rock Fans Are Terrible Trash-Talkers
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December 20, 2024Great Philosophers on Santa’s Naughty and Nice Lists
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December 20, 2024An Art Nouveau Calendar for a Terrible Fucking Year
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December 19, 2024An Open Letter to Sarah from Love Actually, to Be Delivered In the Two Seconds Before She Answers Her Phone for the Second Time While Karl Is Tenderly Dry Humping Her
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December 19, 2024A Producer Attempts to Pitch The Nutcracker