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All posts tagged
penises
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October 20, 2024In the Closing Days of a Tight Election Race, a Presidential Candidate Spends Twelve and a Half Minutes Talking about Arnold Palmer and His Penis
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March 13, 2024What I Think It’s Like Working at a Company That Makes Condoms
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July 20, 2023My Political Career Should Not Be Defined by the One Time I Got My Dick Stuck in a CVS Blood Pressure Machine
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May 2, 2023One of Us Always Tells the Truth, the Other Always Lies. Also, Contrary to What You May Have Heard My Penis Is Not Small
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July 18, 2022Please Watch My Big Break as an Actor on a New HBO Drama Where My Character Is Dragged Nude Behind a Horse with My Penis Showing
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July 1, 2022Laws Should Be Based Solely on the Words of Constitutional Authors Like Me, the Guy Who Died After Shoving a Piece of Whalebone in His Dick
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June 22, 2021An Open Letter to My Straight Co-worker Who Was Visibly Uncomfortable When I Stood at the Urinal Next to Him
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April 12, 2021Son, It’s Time You Learned About Sex by Discussing David Bowie’s Huge Bulge in Labyrinth
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November 23, 202033 Everyday Tasks That Are Easier with a Penis
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April 20, 2020In 2016 I Voted For the Candidate Who Bragged About His Penis Size and Look Where the Country Is Now
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