McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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All posts tagged
penises
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October 20, 2024In the Closing Days of a Tight Election Race, a Presidential Candidate Spends Twelve and a Half Minutes Talking about Arnold Palmer and His Penis
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March 13, 2024What I Think It’s Like Working at a Company That Makes Condoms
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July 20, 2023My Political Career Should Not Be Defined by the One Time I Got My Dick Stuck in a CVS Blood Pressure Machine
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May 2, 2023One of Us Always Tells the Truth, the Other Always Lies. Also, Contrary to What You May Have Heard My Penis Is Not Small
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July 18, 2022Please Watch My Big Break as an Actor on a New HBO Drama Where My Character Is Dragged Nude Behind a Horse with My Penis Showing
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July 1, 2022Laws Should Be Based Solely on the Words of Constitutional Authors Like Me, the Guy Who Died After Shoving a Piece of Whalebone in His Dick
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June 22, 2021An Open Letter to My Straight Co-worker Who Was Visibly Uncomfortable When I Stood at the Urinal Next to Him
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April 12, 2021Son, It’s Time You Learned About Sex by Discussing David Bowie’s Huge Bulge in Labyrinth
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November 23, 202033 Everyday Tasks That Are Easier with a Penis
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April 20, 2020In 2016 I Voted For the Candidate Who Bragged About His Penis Size and Look Where the Country Is Now
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March 31, 2025I’m a Free-Thinking Centrist with Only Right-Wing Ideas
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April 1, 2025I’m a German Citizen in 1933, and Is It Just Me or Is It Really Hard to Get Any Work Done Right Now?
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April 3, 2025President Trump’s Tariffs Will Help America Win the War Against Birds
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April 4, 2025The White House or The White Lotus?
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April 15, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes
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April 15, 2025Would You Like Us to Spend Your Tax Dollars on Meals on Wheels or a Billionaire’s Yacht?
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April 14, 2025This Applebee’s Goes Hard
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April 14, 2025This Is How We Love: The Foto-Novel