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All posts tagged
predictions
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November 3, 2020There’s an 89% Chance Tomorrow Is Partly Cloudy, and a 10% Chance of Endless Hellfire
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November 2, 2020Our Election Night 2020 Predictions
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October 18, 2019Magic 8 Ball Answers for Middle Age
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September 5, 2019Predictions for Every NFL Team
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February 22, 2019My 2019 Oscar Night Predictions
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November 20, 2018FiveThirtyEight Forecasts the National Dog Show
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December 1, 2015The Old Farmer’s Almanac Predicts “We’re All Fucked” This Winter
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September 12, 2013Lesser-Known Prophecies of Nostradamus
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March 4, 2010My 2010 Oscar Night Predictions
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March 25, 2009Cover Stories From the Most-Requested Back Issues of The American Prognosticator (1853—1987)
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner