The Believer Magazine
All posts tagged
speeches
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October 23, 2024A Stump Speech by a Mayoral Candidate Who Just Learned the Werewolves Terrorizing the Town Might Endorse Him
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May 22, 2024How to Craft a Eulogy When All You Want to Do Is Crawl in a Hole
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May 1, 2024How to Do Really Really Well at Show-and-Tell
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April 16, 2024How to Roast Your Friend Just Enough That They’ll Want to Remain Your Friend
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March 29, 2024How to Concede an Election While Making It Clear That Your Ideas Are Objectively Better
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March 8, 2024How to Accept an Award Without Making Your Voters Regret It
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February 26, 2024How to Give a Wedding Toast Without Annoying Hundreds of Hungry Guests
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February 7, 2024How to Give a Toast to a Departing Coworker
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October 31, 2022If Elected, I Promise to Murder You
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October 8, 2020An Oral History of Donald Trump’s Famous “Everyone Wanted the Belt” Speech
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
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February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
Recently
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February 21, 2025Don’t Tread on Me—Unless You’re a Billionaire with a Ketamine Addiction, in Which Case I Enthusiastically Support It
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February 21, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Finding Win Ng
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February 21, 2025Why I Chose to Reenter the Matrix and Be a Living Battery for the Machines
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February 20, 2025Take Him Seriously, Not Literally