The Believer Magazine
All posts tagged
speeches
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October 23, 2024A Stump Speech by a Mayoral Candidate Who Just Learned the Werewolves Terrorizing the Town Might Endorse Him
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May 22, 2024How to Craft a Eulogy When All You Want to Do Is Crawl in a Hole
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May 1, 2024How to Do Really Really Well at Show-and-Tell
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April 16, 2024How to Roast Your Friend Just Enough That They’ll Want to Remain Your Friend
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March 29, 2024How to Concede an Election While Making It Clear That Your Ideas Are Objectively Better
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March 8, 2024How to Accept an Award Without Making Your Voters Regret It
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February 26, 2024How to Give a Wedding Toast Without Annoying Hundreds of Hungry Guests
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February 7, 2024How to Give a Toast to a Departing Coworker
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October 31, 2022If Elected, I Promise to Murder You
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October 8, 2020An Oral History of Donald Trump’s Famous “Everyone Wanted the Belt” Speech
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March 10, 2025As an American Jew, I Feel Completely Reassured for My Safety Now That Trump Has Targeted the Epicenter of American Antisemitism, Columbia University
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March 18, 2025Senator Schumer Votes to Let the Big Wooden Horse into Troy
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March 12, 2025DOGE-Inspired Spring Cleaning
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March 5, 2025Short Conversations with Poets: Dong Li
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March 25, 2025The Plan to Bomb the Middle East Finally Made It Out of the Group Chat
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March 25, 2025Acknowledgements
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March 24, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes
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March 24, 2025My Mother-in-Law Wouldn’t Complain If She Didn’t Get Her Social Security Check, Because She Would Be Dead