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All posts tagged
speeches
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October 23, 2024A Stump Speech by a Mayoral Candidate Who Just Learned the Werewolves Terrorizing the Town Might Endorse Him
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May 22, 2024How to Craft a Eulogy When All You Want to Do Is Crawl in a Hole
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May 1, 2024How to Do Really Really Well at Show-and-Tell
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April 16, 2024How to Roast Your Friend Just Enough That They’ll Want to Remain Your Friend
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March 29, 2024How to Concede an Election While Making It Clear That Your Ideas Are Objectively Better
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March 8, 2024How to Accept an Award Without Making Your Voters Regret It
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February 26, 2024How to Give a Wedding Toast Without Annoying Hundreds of Hungry Guests
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February 7, 2024How to Give a Toast to a Departing Coworker
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October 31, 2022If Elected, I Promise to Murder You
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October 8, 2020An Oral History of Donald Trump’s Famous “Everyone Wanted the Belt” Speech
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December 20, 2024Great Philosophers on Santa’s Naughty and Nice Lists
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December 20, 2024An Art Nouveau Calendar for a Terrible Fucking Year
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December 19, 2024An Open Letter to Sarah from Love Actually, to Be Delivered In the Two Seconds Before She Answers Her Phone for the Second Time While Karl Is Tenderly Dry Humping Her
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December 19, 2024A Producer Attempts to Pitch The Nutcracker