McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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All posts tagged
speeches
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October 23, 2024A Stump Speech by a Mayoral Candidate Who Just Learned the Werewolves Terrorizing the Town Might Endorse Him
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May 22, 2024How to Craft a Eulogy When All You Want to Do Is Crawl in a Hole
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May 1, 2024How to Do Really Really Well at Show-and-Tell
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April 16, 2024How to Roast Your Friend Just Enough That They’ll Want to Remain Your Friend
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March 29, 2024How to Concede an Election While Making It Clear That Your Ideas Are Objectively Better
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March 8, 2024How to Accept an Award Without Making Your Voters Regret It
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February 26, 2024How to Give a Wedding Toast Without Annoying Hundreds of Hungry Guests
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February 7, 2024How to Give a Toast to a Departing Coworker
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October 31, 2022If Elected, I Promise to Murder You
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October 8, 2020An Oral History of Donald Trump’s Famous “Everyone Wanted the Belt” Speech
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November 8, 2024Updates on the Arc of the Moral Universe
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November 6, 2024Here’s Why a Second Death Star Won’t Be That Bad
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November 6, 2024I Don’t Hate Women Candidates. I Just Thought an Erratic and Vindictive Criminal Was Worthier of My Vote Than a Woman Candidate
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November 8, 2024Finally, the Elites Have Been Defeated by the Billionaires