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All posts tagged
toys
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June 27, 2024Mantras for the Eight-Year-Old Boy Who Is About to Walk into Target
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July 27, 2023We Promise Our STEM Toys Will Never Teach Your Child the Humanities
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July 21, 2023“Barbie Girl” by Ernest Hemingway
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February 14, 2023Romantic Pairings I Created for My Childhood Toys
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August 24, 2022Health Inspector’s Notes from the Fisher-Price Kitchen in Miss Carol’s Preschool Classroom
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April 28, 2022Fisher-Price Recalls the Deluxe Kick ’n Play Piano Gym for Having Too Many Bops
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March 18, 2022I Insisted on a Strict Policy of Only Educational Toys for My Baby, and Now She Is Too Smart and I Am Terrified of Her
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June 2, 2021Best STEM Toys For One-Year-Olds, Also, Calm Down
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March 9, 2021I’m Your Child’s New Interlocking Block System and I’m Incompatible With Every Other Block They Own
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December 9, 2020The 100-Percent True History of Santa and Jesus, Probably
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November 8, 2024Updates on the Arc of the Moral Universe
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November 8, 2024Finally, the Elites Have Been Defeated by the Billionaires
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November 13, 2024Sure, I Voted for Someone Whose Policies Might Kill You, but Now’s the Time to Put Aside Our Differences
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November 6, 2024Here’s Why a Second Death Star Won’t Be That Bad
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November 22, 2024Reasons That I, a Trans Woman, Have Had to Use the Bathroom at My Workplace
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November 22, 2024Excerpts from The Believer: An Interview with Filmmaker and Musician Boots Riley
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November 22, 2024Something about President-Elect Nyarlathotep’s Unholy Rebirth Feels Weird, Right?
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November 21, 2024I’m a Good, Normal Family Man Who Just Wants to Inspect Your Genitals Before You Pee