Due to the over-saturation of the visual market, the conversion rate between pictures and words will be changed. The rate of one picture to a thousand words is no longer considered sustainable.
Some critics will say this change is long overdue. When man first lifted brush to wall, the result had limitless value. It is difficult to say when things began to change for the worse: for some it was the invention of the printing press; others the first camera; and for many of us it was that awful selfie Karen from HR posted last week. While we will not target any one image as the reason our current system needs to be revised, it is safe to say that the image of Karen PhotoShopped to look like she is skydiving into Manhattan will be burned in our minds forever.
The details of our current negotiations are still being worked on, but here are a few exchange rate examples to give you a better idea of our new system:
Photo of your newborn child: 500 words (-100 words per each subsequent child):
Congratulations for bringing life into our already overpopulated planet, we hope you take these words as a condolence for the years of parenting struggles that lay ahead.
Photo that creates the illusion of holding up the leaning tower of Pisa: Two words
A stock photo would have been more meaningful.
Selfie with a celebrity: 10-75 words
Context is the key in our new system. Was this an organic celebrity spotting or an arranged meet up? Are we pushing back against celebrity culture as a symptom of a regressive society or embracing our new technologically driven world? Is the celebrity Matt Damon?
Handmade artwork: Subject to expert appraisal
In the past we have treated all pieces of art equally, emphasizing effort over outcome. As part of our new system of word to picture conversions, all art will be harshly judged on its value by a team of experts. This prevents any potential exploitation of the system, particularly by parents who may want to exchange their children’s crayon drawings and other projects for cheap words.
We thank you for your patience while our new system is refined. Remember, these changes are not the fault of one person but a response to an overall change in how art functions in society (and also a response to the tacky Instagram feed of Karen’s from HR).