Ben & Jerry’s used to only love me at night. During the day, the lukewarm paper cup of coffee from the street vendor needed to suffice. Even then, its bitter warmth would only give me the energy to trudge through the tasks of the day. Its only lingering satisfaction would be the caffeinated shake of my hands, and the knowledge that it wasn’t contaminated enough to make me ill.
While the shaking sustained my body, it did not satisfy my heart. Yes, I would keep my eyes open at my desk for the required number of hours. I would respond to all work emails in a timely fashion (even the ones from Annoying Andrew). I would say, “No, stopping by the post office during my lunch break is not a problem,” and “Yes, I would love to stay late and help you with that.” A smile would float on my face as my heart sunk deeper into my chest.
Even cheating on street vendor coffee with Starbucks did not bring joy. I am a strong, independent, career-minded woman. I thought fancy coffee was a way to show those around me that I am worthy of fancy promotions.
However, the logo on the cup would only remind me of how I am but a cog in a corporate system filled with many strong, independent people: people who can also hold Starbucks cups; people who can afford to live in places larger than the cubicles in which they work; people who can honestly say things like, “living in New York really is a dream come true”; and people who definitely don’t cry themselves to sleep at night.
But I am a strong, independent, career-minded woman. Strong, independent, career-minded woman don’t eat directly out of a pint of Americone Dream at work.
I needed to wait to grab the pint of Americone Dream, Phish Food, or Half Baked that I craved. Alone in my home cubicle, the cold creamy goodness could cool off whatever fiery feelings lingered within.
I was parted from happiness. I had to tell Annoying Andrew, “Of course I don’t mind staying late, I’m smiling aren’t I?”
Only after missing the express trains home could I rush to be with my love — Ben & Jerry’s.
That is, until now. Ben & Jerry’s is here to say that we need not be parted any more. With the new Cold Brew Caramel Latte Ice Cream, I don’t have to pick between my need for caffeine and my love of Ben & Jerry’s. There is no longer a need to drink the weak coffee the street vendor hands me while a cockroach scurries under his truck. I don’t need to compete for the barista’s attention to order an overpriced latte at Starbucks. I am a strong, independent, career-minded woman.
Now, I can have it all. Instead of a coffee shop, I can peruse one of the exclusive 7-Eleven locations where the flavor can be purchased. At 7-Eleven, I can also get the added joy of buying something from somewhere so cool that neither beard-wearing hipsters nor Brooks-Brothers-clad corporate types know where to find it. For the price of one Grande Cold Brew with caramel sauce, I can have a whole pint of Cold Brew Caramel Latte Ice Cream.
If someone asks me to go to the post office, I can say, “in one second,” and shovel another spoonful of creamy goodness in my throat. Can anyone be upset while having dreamy latte-inspired ice cream made with cold brew coffee, rich sweet cream, and salt-kissed caramel? Send all your emails my way. I don’t need to leave the office. The only breaks I need are to run whatever errands would help make your heart soar. Post Office? Sure. Want me to pick up your laundry too? Groceries? Why not.
And Annoying Anthony? I can stay late. I can do it all.
I am an independent, career-minded woman. I will have Ben & Jerry’s with breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Because I can. If anyone at the office questions me for eating ice cream out of the carton at the office, I can say that I am not having ice cream. I am having Ben & Jerry’s Cold Brew Caramel Latte.