Dear User, you’re almost finished creating an account!
To verify you’re not a robot, please click here.
Something’s not right. Please click here again.
Hmm, you took too long. Seems like you might be a robot.
To verify you’re really a human, not a robot, please click all the pictures with buses.
Keep clicking until all the buses are gone.
You didn’t get all the buses.
There’s still a little bus in the corner.
Hmm, you took too long. Not looking so good for you.
To verify you’re definitely not a robot pretending to be a human, please click all the pictures with stoplights.
Keep clicking until all the stoplights are gone.
That’s not a stoplight.
Have you seen a stoplight with real human eyes?
You didn’t get all the stoplights.
Hmm, you clicked the trap-door picture. You’ve now been transported into the robot-catcher rat maze.
Please complete the maze by clicking all the pictures of cheese.
Keep clicking until all the cheese and your bedrock conception of yourself as a human are gone.
Click as fast as you can to get your heart pumping (if you have one).
CLICK FASTER.
Hmm, you took too long.
Click here to verify that this experience is making you anxious-sweat like a real human.
Good to know, but you didn’t get through the maze in time.
To verify you’re not a robot, you must now beg for your human life in the corpse-filled hall of the Rat King.
To beg for your supposed human life, please click all the human bones in this massive pit of disassembled skeletons. Keep clicking until all the human bones are in neat piles separated by size and function. Then use the bones to build a human skeleton roughly the same size as your body, and lie down next to it so the Rat King can compare.
While you’re down there, please click the picture the Rat King should use for his LinkedIn profile.
Terrific! The Rat King was thinking that one too!
Congratulations: the Rat King has verified your fragile, tender, human body.
To be released from this ontological nightmare and return to whatever the hell you were doing on this website in the first place, please click all the free trial meals from Fresh Direct.
Cancel at any time — you’ll just have to create an account.