Shoes you placed neatly on the shoe rack in the front hall mysteriously appear in the bathtub, stuffed in the soil of a potted plant, or in the drawer underneath the oven.
Answer: Toddler
Shoes you placed neatly in the shoe rack are mysteriously full of wet sand.
Answer: Most likely toddler, but could go either way.
Shoes you placed neatly in the shoe rack mysteriously turn to piles of wet sand the instant you touch them. But then, seconds later, they appear as they were, and you aren’t sure if it happened at all.
Answer: The ghost of the widow of an old sea captain.
You hear loud moans coming from somewhere in your house late into the night.
Answer: Could be either.
You hear loud moans coming from somewhere in your house late into the night and the haunting lull of ocean waves.
Answer: Still could be either. Does your toddler sleep with a sound machine?
You hear loud moans coming from somewhere in your house late into the night, the haunting lull of ocean waves, and the faint hum of a sea shanty.
Answer: Still could be either. Who knows what songs they teach them at daycare.
You hear loud moans coming from somewhere in your house late into the night, the haunting lull of ocean waves, the faint hum of a sea shanty, and the voice of a woman calling, “Cornelius, will you ever return from the sea?”
Answer: At this point, probably the ghost widow.
You turn away for one second, and when you turn back around, the figure of a person about to throw themselves off the balcony appears out of the corner of your eye.
Answer: Honestly, could be either.
You turn away for one second, and when you turn back around, the figure of a person wearing a long, lace gown and a mourning veil about to throw themselves off the balcony appears out of the corner of your eye.
Answer: Well, that’s the ghost widow for sure.
You turn away for one second, and when you turn back around, the figure of a person wearing absolutely nothing about to throw themselves off the balcony appears out of the corner of your eye. How did they manage to get their pants and diaper off? And are they holding your cell phone?
Answer: Toddler.
Suddenly without warning, your pets look around in fear as if they sense a presence coming near them.
Answer: Toddler.
Suddenly without warning, your pets look around in fear as if they sense a presence coming near them, and a disembodied voice whispers, “I vowed never to love again after the cruel sea took Cornelius. Cats became my only companion.”
Answer: Definitely the ghost widow.
Fruit in your house keeps going bad for no reason.
Answer: Definitely a ghost. A toddler eats approximately twelve pounds of fruit a day and almost nothing else, making it impossible for it to rot.
Fruit in your house keeps going bad because you’ve found 22 blueberries stuffed inside the compartment of a toy garbage truck, a clementine tucked into a doll bed, and half a banana you forgot you left at the bottom of the diaper bag for the last two weeks.
Answer: Toddler
You feel a sudden icy chill down your body while sitting on the couch.
Answer: Ghost widow
You feel a warm stream go down your body while sitting on the couch.
Answer: Unfortunately, that’s a toddler with an ill-fitting diaper.
You enter your kitchen and find all the cabinets thrown open, the drawers pulled out, and one of the stove burners on.
Answer: Toddler
You enter your kitchen and find all the cabinets thrown open, the drawers pulled out, one of the stove burners on, and the strong smell of saltwater and cod lingering in the air.
Answer: Ghost widow — no, wait, still the toddler. He found the Morton’s container, and how on earth did he manage to open a can of cat food?
Your lights are always flickering on and off.
Answer: Toddler who just found out about the light switch.
Your lights are always flickering on and off. Projected on your living room wall, you see the silhouette of a schooner slowly sinking into the icy depths of the North Atlantic.
Answer: Ghost, and if she insists on haunting this house, can she at least make herself useful and clean up all of that salt?