Michael Kindness slept.

- - -

In the end, as it was in the beginning and is now, I was a sad sack with time and a harmonica.

- - -

Being the last man on Earth ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.

- - -

I keep asking myself, “Self, when am I going to get my Wiffle Ball back?”

- - -

“Would you like a bag with that?” the clerk asked clerkishly.

- - -

It was not the best of times — not by a long shot, Slappy.

- - -

Captain Picard and Commander Riker emerged from the Holodeck looking rather sour.

- - -

It is inevitable that the experience of knocking Noxema facial cleansing cream to the bathroom floor reminds one of springtime, and hyacinths.

- - -

In retrospect, going back in time that time just to watch the Velvet Underground play at Max’s Kansas City was a terrible, terrible idea.

- - -

“Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha,” he thought.

- - -

On second thought, no.

- - -

Nomar Garciaparra was born on July 23, 1973 in Whittier, California.

- - -

Erin!