april (i think)

still getting my balance. these heels don’t help! loads of hot outfits. already tired of sucking in my gut. got to do something with this hair. everybody says wait till i meet ken.

april

if it’s still april. heard i’m getting a corvette. hope it’s better than this crappy beach house. not allowed to get a tattoo. thinking of becoming a stewardess. met ken. what a zero.

may

no smoking. no hanging out. no corvette. think my ass is getting big. can’t be a stewardess, but go-go dancer or doctor are ok. go figure. ohmigod. g.i. joe. hot!

may

joe joe joe joe joe joe joe joe joe joe joe

may or june

what kind of name is midge? she’s had work done. ken says she looks like a hooker. i say except in the doctor’s outfit we all look like hookers. ken says not me, girlfriend.

june, for sure

had it with transformers. too confusing—now it’s a spaceship, now it’s a scissors, now it’s a hammer. like going out with a hardware store. got the corvette finally. pink.

july

had muppets over to penthouse. big mistake—too much history with kermit. midge still “borrowing” my clothes. she gets to be a stewardess. i get a princess phone. pink.

august

read midge’s diary. calls me “barfbie.” big fight, hair everywhere, tears (hers). calls me “cabbage patch.” i say, “you’ll never work in malibu again.” more tears.

august

ken says g.i. joe really likes midge and can we still be friends. i say midge = trash. ken says how about pinocchio. i say pinocchio = freak.

september

kermie kermie kermie kermie kermie

september

med school.