Matthew McConaughey Explains to His Friend Rich That He Forgot His Dr. Pepper

Rich. My friend. Mi amigo. I must, say at this moment. That I—have forgotten your soda.

This is not a story of hardship. This is a story of loss; it is a story of remorse. You may ask yourself, was the weight of the responsibility of picking up Wendy’s in time for Heroes a burden on my shoulders? Or was the responsibility of picking up Wendy’s a weight for us all? I did not know if it would be a weight. I believe this was not a weight. Everyone had their heads and hearts in the right place. I went through the drive-through purely. Asking not about the 99-cent menu, but personally as Matthew McConaughey about the Jalapeño Cheddar Double Melt. Some characters walk through first with their chin, some with their chest, some with their shoulder. I walk with the heart and mind aligned first through that door. Although that door for me was at the second window. All right.

Now, Ricardo. You may think, in the deep recesses of your mind, your heart, your soul, did this man that is I become thirsty? Did I become enslaved by thirst so that I consumed your frosty beverage? No, I feel that the Dr. Pepper consumed me. That there is a great freedom in allowing oneself to become consumed by commercial soft drinks. As well. By, the fast-food industry itself.

In the beginning, I began to tell this story. You, El Rio, were a little wary of the story I was about to tell. I heard some words. I heard “dick,” and I heard “you dumb-ass.” In fact, I heard that twice. But we opened the bag together and we will share the Frescatta Italiana as well as my Big Bacon Classic.

Richie, it may be that the decision to embark upon this journey of squared-beef deliciousness has become a point for you to reset your bodily clock. To return that clock to a state that is naturel. El sol se ha levantado en un nuevo día y este día será bueno. All right.

I discovered in myself, Richard, that the true path to enlightenment begins with the first look in the mirror. Yeah. That path being that I cannot return to the Wendy’s on Gilmer and recoup the loss of your Dr. Pepper in time for the first commerical break. Neither in mind nor in body. This will give you a resonance that says, “My thirst is unquenched. And it is good.”

Rich. I shall now return to the origin of my being, and gain an access to the source of your dry-mouthedness. Richard. I will ask you. Soon. If you have a respect for the Dr. Pepper. And you will reach inside yourself, and find that answer to be yes.

All right, all right.