Percent eyeballs completely skipped this post
Slow, knowing nod evoked
Physical Laughing out Loud to typing LOL discrepancy ratio
Mouse hovering over Like button; narrow eyes thinking
Mouths “Upworthy,” scrolls on
Drunk on Merlot and hearting everything on Etsy’s “I Like Cats” search
Brain-dead insomniac scrolling by muscle memory
Sleeping; cat walked on space bar
Glasses removed, eyeballs rubbed, glasses back on
Hands vanish, pants unzipping sound detected
Actually watching Netflix