Remember in Passenger 57 When Elizabeth Hurley Says “How Would You Like Your Steak, Sir?” and He Says “Bloody!” and Then They Start Shooting People? OK. Five Other Ways He Could Have Liked His Steak, With the Concomitant Killing Methodologies

1. “Rare!” — Victims beaten to death with Italian Renaissance painting.

2. “Medium!” — Psychic’s revelations of future all too real. Anguish and despair force victims to jump off plane.

3. “Pink!” — Victims tortured by repeat playings of “There You Go.”

4. “Raw!” — Victims berated by Eddie Murphy (in walk-on role) for being gay. To death.

5. “Cut into small pieces and fed to me!” — Yes.