Be mysterious and playful
“Guess which of our daughters has a urinary tract infection?”
Send them sexy pics and texts during the day
“Here is a picture of the dishwasher loaded The Right Way per your written instructions. It is superior to my way.”
When they ask you a question, look them in the eye when you answer
“Yeah, honey, that does look like pink-eye.”
Give them coupons for something they love
“Here is a coupon for you to go to Target and just walk around until I text you that the kids are asleep. Go now — the kids are coming — save yourself.”
When you spend time apart, tell them intimate little details of your day to keep them feeling close
“I saw three dead birds today.”
Make them a mixtape
“If you give Run the Jewels one more shot, I think you would like them. Killer Mike has a show on Netflix now.”
Go back to where you had your first date
“I mean, I guess it makes sense to tear it down after the murder, but it was a really good Denny’s.”
Send unexpected text messages during the day
“The school called; your son forgot to wear underwear again and had an accident. Apparently, the art room looks like an oil spill. I’m not dealing with it.”
Go for a walk in the park. Hold hands.
“This is really nice.”
Say I love you
“I love you.”