1. “I have a degree in English and know more about poetry than you.”
2. That one that didn’t involve the word vagina, the phrase “corporate America,” or a series of forced, dramatic pauses and gesticulations.
3. “Lines composed a few miles above Tintern Abbey that don’t have anything to do with sexuality.”
4. “Oh, isn’t your T-shirt so clever.”
5. “I am hipster; hear me roar about my lame-ass, pseudo-intellectual existence. I mean, really, Shannon, are you so starved for attention that you have to share your awful, awful poetry here too? ‘And found that I was alone in the darkness that is this world …’ What a load of bullshit.”
6. “Let’s ruin irony for everyone.”
7. “O for Fuck’s Sake, No One Cares.”
8. “You can’t stay here if you don’t buy a drink.”
9. The one I actually read.
10. “Prufrock.”