My therapist says I have masochistic tendencies and I need to put my own needs first, and my arborist says I can’t afford to lose any more branches. All I know is I never tried to force you into a conventional relationship. I didn’t ask for a fancy wedding or a honeymoon or even a ring. (I have plenty of rings.)
I feel like everything is about you and your needs. I have to be responsible for everything. I’m not your fucking mother, OK? I mean, that would be weird if I was, since I’m, like, a tree, and you’re a human child.
That time you brought over the swing set was totally weird, and I know it might have been a kink thing for you, but I felt kind of humiliated. Like I said I wanted it but I’m not really sure I wanted wanted it, you know?
And then I gave you an apple, and you were all, Are you the tree of knowledge, and are you going to tempt me into a life of sin? and I just laughed and didn’t tell you that I’ve heard that line a thousand times and every single guy who wants to get in my branches has said the exact same fucking thing.
You always said you couldn’t see the forests for the trees, but all I ever wanted was for you to see ME.
Basically, I just feel really used.
I remember one fall, when I had lost all my leaves, and I was feeling really naked and in this totally vulnerable space, and you came along and carved your initials into my trunk, and I didn’t say anything. I literally allowed you to carve your freaking initials into my body. WTF? What is wrong with me???
And then, later on, you’re like, I just want to come over and hang out, and I’m all, Sure go ahead, just sit down, we don’t even have to talk…. and it’s like… I can’t keep doing this….
The thing is, if a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one to hear it, it doesn’t make a noise. Which is why I have to speak up. Not just for myself, but for all the other trees. Because if you keep using us for your own pleasure, cutting us down and clearing forests, there won’t be any of us left. You’ve heard of this thing called global warming, right? That’s the rage of a billion fucked over trees ready to take your ass down.
It’s time for me to branch out and reach for the sky.