“Lucy and the Italian Neo-Realists”
While reading from James M. Cain’s The Postman Always Rings Twice at the top of the Spanish Steps to Lucy, Fred, and Ethel, Ricky bumps into Hollywood acquaintance Farley Granger, in Rome for his latest picture, Senso. Lucy begs Granger for a part, but he demurs, saying that’s up to the director, Luchino Visconti, not him. Stealing away from their hotel dressed as a Dragoon, Lucy pops up at Cinecittà, where she pesters Visconti into casting her as a sentry. The whole thing ends in farce, with Lucy doping Alida Valli and dumping her in the Tiber, Granger wishing he were still in Strangers On a Train, and Visconti propositioning Ricky. Guest-starring Danny Kaye as Luchino Visconti, Alida Valli as Alida Valli, and Stewart Granger as Farley Granger.
“Lucy and the New York School Beboppers”
When Ricky’s agent gets rubbed out by the mob over unpaid gambling debts, Lucy begs Ricky to let her book the band’s club engagements, to which he agrees. Liking the sound of the Cedar Tavern, Lucy arranges a gig there with guest artist Charlie “Bird” Parker. Unfortunately, Bird ODs in their apartment and Lucy tries to pass herself off as Bird, a ruse that fools no one, especially when she tries to play “Cherokee” in 2/4 time. The whole thing ends in farce, with Lucy blubbering, Ricky swearing in Spanish, Fred and Willem de Kooning getting into a punch-up over the artist’s Big Women paintings (“You call that a big woman? You haven’t seen my wife!”), and Jackson Pollock peeing in Ricky’s conga drum. With Eddie “Rochester” Anderson as Charlie "Bird’"Parker, Mel “Bugs Bunny” Blanc as Jackson “Jack the Dripper” Pollock, Frank “EEEYeeeeeesssssss?” Nelson as Willem “The Dutchman” de Kooning and Jack “To Be or Not to Be” Benny as Clement “Slaphappy” Greenberg.
“Lucy and the Red Scare”
While sipping Shirley Temples at the Stork Club with Walter Winchell, Roy Cohn overhears Lucy telling Ethel that she’s been “red” her whole life and he duly reports her to the House Committee on Un-American Activities. Hauled up before Joe McCarthy, a blubbering Lucy is given the third degree, but instead of taking the fifth she names every name she can think of, starting with her parents’ and ending with Fred and Ethel’s. A blubbering Ethel informs the Committee that what Lucy really meant was that she’s been a “redhead” her whole life, not a “red,” but not even that was true because everyone knew she dyed her hair. The whole thing ends in farce, with Ricky and Fred gagging Lucy, the Committee dismissing Fred and Ethel with a stern warning to report any suspicious characters, Roy Cohn and Bobby Kennedy getting into fisticuffs over who gets to sit next to “Tail Gunner” Joe, and Ricky being jailed for having a foreign accent. Guest-starring Jim “Mr. Magoo” Backus as Joe “I’ve Got a Little List” McCarthy, Sal “The Republic” Mineo as Roy “Angels In America” Cohn, Jimmy “Everybody Wants to Get in on the Act” Durante as “The Untouchable” Walter Winchell and “Rope-A-Dope” Farley Granger as Bobby “RFK Stadium” Kennedy.
“Lucy and the Bomb Shelter”
Terrified that thermonuclear war will break out at any moment in the wake of the Suez debacle and the Soviet invasion of Hungary, Lucy decides to install a bomb shelter in the backyard of their spanking new Fairfield, Connecticut home. Armed with a riding crop in one hand and a US government issue pamphlet in the other, Lucy directs Ethel in digging a rudimentary bunker in yesterday’s Victory Garden while Ricky and Fred lounge by the pool, swilling Cuba Libres and cracking bad jokes about the world going up in flames. The whole thing ends in farce, with Lucy and Ethel accidentally sealing themselves in and unable to get out, and Ricky and Fred going on a road trip/bender together to Las Vegas where they marry floozies and lose their shirts. Guest-starring Clifton “Mr. Belvedere” Webb as Anthony “The Prime Minister” Eden, “Alphaville” Akim Tamiroff as “Meshuggener” Gamal Abdel Nasser, Bert “Waiting for Godot” Lahr as “Say It Ain’t So, Shoeless” Nikita Khrushchev, and Lana “Imitation of Life” Turner and Grace “Brickwork” Kelly as the floozies.