It was, with the somewhat unexpected return of Jadis, White Witch and Queen of Narnia and Empress of the Lone Islands, the hopes of this Editorial Board that Queen Jadis’s second reign would be marked by more understanding and compassion than her first reign was. In some ways, we feel that in the instability of these times, there have been moments of alarm combined with moments of a return to normalcy.
For many Narnians, the reign of High King Peter, Queen Susan, King Edmund, and Queen Lucy was an era of fraught political tensions. Having begun their reign with a war against the forces of the White Witch, many felt that these four rulers failed to unite all of Narnia behind their cause. While a significant number of Narnians pointed to the Pevensie monarchs’ association with Aslan as a net positive, a vocal plurality stated that, as he is the son of the Emperor-over-the-Sea, he should have focused his efforts on improving Aslan’s Land, instead of inserting undue foreign influence over Narnian monarch selection.
In retrospect, it may have been a poor choice to allow four English schoolchildren to assume the throne as co-monarchs, confusing the line of succession. Questions over the appropriateness of the age of the Pevensies plagued them, especially as they had yet to matriculate from secondary school at the time of their sudden disappearance following the White Stag Incident. In some ways, having Queen Jadis on the throne again simplifies things greatly.
We applauded the pardoning of all parties involved in the First Battle of Beruna, especially concerning the hags, werewolves, and minotaurs who had been sentenced to prison time after the uprising. The several months many of them spent in prison have likely taught them an important lesson about … [ed: come up with something they might have learned before this goes to print].
The most surprising turn in Queen Jadis’s return may be her enthusiastic adoption of one Mr. Muskrat and a group of juvenile Talking Labradoodles, who have been tasked with overhauling nearly every aspect of Narnian governance. Mr. Muskrat assures that reports about the Labradoodles’ access to taxation records stretching over a century are entirely legal and that they have identified many overpayments, such as to Marsh-wiggle Social Services. While we may not agree with all of his methods, Mr. Muskrat’s desire to stem government overspending is a welcome way to start Queen Jadis’s second reign.
The price of Turkish Delight, considered to be a major factor in many Narnians’ support of Jadis’s return, has yet to stabilize. Still, we trust that Queen Jadis will soon be able to produce more once the Turkish Blight has been dealt with by her newly appointed Health and Narnian Resources Troll.
A return to a new century of Winter is proving a contentious choice. Already, some Narnians are complaining that they didn’t actually believe the White Witch would reinstate Winter again, but many are fully in support. Director Maugrim, the head of the newly empowered WOOF (Winter Observation and Obeisance Force), assures us that conduct by WOOF agents will be entirely lawful, and there should be no interruptions to law-abiding Narnians’ places of work or worship.
Mr. Bulgy Bear (B–Oak Tree) spoke out earlier this week against the sudden return of the War on Christmas, noting that many children and Talking Animals had grown accustomed to gifts from Father Christmas each Yuletide, but Mr. Tumnus (F–Lantern Waste) cautioned against upsetting the White Witch with yet more prattle from activist bear judges.
Queen Jadis’s sudden proclamation to “think about building a beautiful, eternal winter in The Emerald City,” transforming the location into “homes for vacationing Narnian dignitaries,” did give us pause, especially with her proposal to move the Emerald City’s inhabitants into the neighboring Deadly Desert. Negotiations with local authorities over acquiring this space have yet to begin. We advise caution on the part of all parties, especially for any Talking Animals who may still be in the area. However, we remain optimistic that a series of high-level talks with the Dragon Smaug, to be held in Mordor, will help resolve the ongoing conflict over the Lonely Mountain with the forces of Thorin Oakenshield.
While the return of the Statue Gardens, made up of traitors to the queen, does press on the boundaries of legality, there was a certain gothic charm to the area around Jadis’s House during the first Long Winter. The return to a more traditional, dissident-turned-stonework aesthetic is, in its own way, a return to the status quo many Narnians yearned for during the fractious Pevensie years. Queen Jadis has continually assured us that only the real enemies of Narnia will be included in these displays.
The Editorial Board of the New Cair Paravel Times would like to take this opportunity to remind our readers of our staunch belief in the need for Narnian stability and the legitimacy of her return to the throne. We look forward to finding ways to work with her to improve Narnia for all Narnians. None of us have cheekbones that would look particularly good rendered in marble.