Margaret Cooper
5555 Mission Street,
San Francisco, CA
(914) 555-2345
macooper999@outlook.com

Objective:

Young female professional looking to be treated equally by male coworkers. Past experience is limited, but this applicant remains hopeful.

Education:

Institution of Higher Education, Bachelor of Science in Economics, Bachelor of Arts in English
August 2009 – May 2013

  • Honor Graduate in both fields
  • Appointed Secretary of Student Senate as I was the only female present at meeting and the president thought it was “fitting”

Additional Institution of Higher Education in Larger City, Supplemental Business Courses
May – August 2011 and May – August 2012

  • Enrolled in supplemental business courses focusing on business management
  • Coordinated all group projects and presentations with disproportionate number of male classmates who refused to answer the phone except to text “U up?” at 3:18 am on a Saturday morning (I was up — working on the project)

Work Experience:

Large Corporate Advertising Firm, Intern
May – August 2012

  • Held position while concurrently taking business courses at Additional Institution of Higher Education in Larger City.
  • Repetitively on receiving end of numerous The Devil Wears Prada jokes from male boss, who seems to have missed the point of the film
  • Purchased lunch and coffee for partners and upper-level associates while fellow intern named Kevin was asked if he was interested in preparing spreadsheets for third largest client
  • Assigned a project that did not include ordering food only to discover it was ordering the specific type of clicky-top pen that my employer preferred

Mid-Size CPA and Consulting Firm, Junior Financial Analyst
June 2013 – October 2015

  • Oversaw the day-to-day execution of a large-scale project with a non-diverse group of professionals that continually talked over female staff
  • Provided innovative ideas at bi-weekly staff meetings that were later credited to male co-workers
  • Received more critique for identical budget proposals than male peers, but less critique than sole black female peer because that is how intersectional systems of oppression operate
  • Grew to dislike working in such a toxic male environment after one year, but remained in position for another year as I just renewed lease and could not afford to resign without having a comparable paying job lined up

Start Up Marketing Agency, Digital Marketing Analyst
October 2015 – September 2017

  • Created ads for targeted audiences including: white women and gay white men
  • Performed account optimization for several clients
  • Pushed back when co-workers from other departments tried to explain to me the graphics I designed and produced
  • Produced marketing KPI dashboards and delivered cross channel performance reports
  • Positioned myself to force male coworkers to establish and maintain eye contact when they requested notes from department meetings every week

Skills:

Dedicated. Persistent. Types 75 WPM. Angry. Team player. Proficient in three languages. Shrill.