… In other developments,
the autopsies on the dead may be
complete as early as Thursday morning.
The autopsies on the living remain
pending. They will be performed
with a full orchestra and a spectacular
light show … Meteorologists expect a cooler
weekend … Housing developments
are on the rise. Creation outperformed
destruction in the markets this May. Be
that as it may, most experts remain
skeptical … Thousands are mourning
comedian Siggy Smolka, who died this morning
of natural causes. “Spectacular!”
raved the Times, when he performed
Carcinogentlemen!, about the development
of the Southern tobacco lobby. Dismay be-
fell the Hollywood crowd … "We remain
optimistic," said actor Johnny Tremain,
“about the war” … Yesterday morning
the president spoke to Congress: “Maybe
you should know, I have speti—, texta—, uh … spectacular
cancer.” He ordered the development
of an innovative procedure, to be performed
by multiple, titanium, super-formed
robots. He will be in D.C. for the surgery, Maine
for a six-week recovery … A development-
ally disabled teenager was executed this morning
in Texas. Cheering crowds deemed it a “spectaclear
[sic] demonstration of justice.” This may be
the start of a new era," commented Governor May B.
McClantock. “It’s just super!” … For med-
ical personnel who wish to inspect a “Q-lar-
va,” said to cause widespread diarrhea, blocks remain
firmly in place … Insurance companies are mourning
the loss of billions due to recent developments
toward an AIDS vaccine. Further such developments may be
discouraged in the morning by government officials, who remain
convinced the cure has underperformed, is “less than spectacular” …