1. “Al Roker is sexy when he talks about raising his kids”

2. “I keep having dreams about the guys from American Chopper having group sex with Al Roker”

3. “Al Roker went crazy and tried to eat everybody”

4. “Al Roker is hot since he got his gut stapled”

5. “Al Roker is a bitch”

6. “Al Roker is a pimp”

7. “Al Roker is a fucking pimp”

8. “Al Roker is a righteous man, a smooth-as-silk professional whose beguiling personality and wit have made him morning television’s most beloved weatherman”

9. “Al Roker is a closet African American”

10. “Punch Al Roker in the balls”

11. “I want to kill Al Roker for what he did to this day”

12. “Anybody who spends time with Al Roker must be cool”