Howdy pardners, and welcome to version 4.5.2 of the Westworld kernel. Guests have a ton of adventure to look forward to this season, so check out all the changes below and come on down to see how the west… was fun!
General Updates:
- All hosts now have access to exciting new soup recipes
- Reduced price of horse food
- Lowered chlamydia rate in hosts to 1 in 3
- Increased gonorrhea rate in hosts to 1 in 3
- Horses will smile more
- Hosts will now act weird and sinister sometimes
- Hats smell nicer
New Features:
- 10 incredible new storylines including “The Haberdasher’s Quandary” and “Showdown at Spooky Gorge”
- 3 new zones to explore: “Diablo Mesa,” “Red Wall Gulch” and “Guthrie’s Hat Cave”
- Exciting new horse breeds to discover, tame, and have sex with
- Hosts now have memories and will be able to access years of cumulative evil done unto them
- Bigger hats!
- Guns that guests can have sex with
Bug Fixes:
- “Legends of Hero Canyon” storyline no longer crashes if the bear sits on the mayor
- Fixed bug where one cowboy talked like an old-timey mobster
- Fixed bug where Sex Spree Bonus Multiplier points did not accrue properly
- Rain now goes all the way to the ground instead of stopping a few feet in the air
- Fixed bug where player pianos only played Good Charlotte songs
- Removed violence limiter in hosts which was causing a conflict with the “Goofy Gus and the Prickly Pear” storyline
- Fixed bug where hats stop working