“He was a good guy, always joking around with everyone. The life of the party.”
“Yeah, he had a great sense of humor, but when it came down to business he was a great leader.”
“He could make a 9 a.m. conference call fun.”
“He put in long hours at work, completely devoted to his career and making a name for himself.”
“He was an all-around stand-up guy, volunteering and helping out with the community, you know?”
“He was one hell of a negotiator and everyone in the boardroom always listened to him no matter what he had to say.”
“He made climbing the corporate ladder look easy.”
“He was fearless, going after anything he wanted and always getting what he wanted.”
“I thought he was kind. He helped me in my career and often told me he could see himself in me.”
“He knew he could rely on his brothers to get out of anything, and boy, he used them a lot. That rascal.”
“Six feet underground and he’s probably still looking up women’s skirts.”
(Sobbing) “Thank you for teaching me everything I know.”
“He put up a strong fight but it was time for him to go.”
“He had a great life.”
“He got even better with age!”
“It was a long time coming.”
“He was a good friend of my father and grandfather.”
“A real man’s man.”
“A real ladies’ man, too. Always charming.”
“He loved women and women seemed to love him.”
“I don’t remember him ever pursuing a woman and not getting what he wants.”
“He seemed to get along with women but I don’t know.”
“He always joked about helping women ‘sleep their way to the top.’”
“Yeah, maybe there was something strange in the way he helped those damsels in distress.”
“To be honest, I can’t tell if women are crying tears of joy or sadness at his passing.”
“I’ve heard stories of him with women that weren’t the greatest but like, everyone makes mistakes.”
“Boys will be boys, you know?”
“Could those stories making the rounds actually be true?”
“He told me I was beautiful and then after we slept together I never heard from him again.”
“After I said I wasn’t interested in hooking up he told me I was ugly and should be thankful for the attention.”
“After saying no to a date he told all of our coworkers we slept together and I was fired from my job.”
“In a meeting, he didn’t listen to a word I said and instead focused on my low-cut shirt. I never wore a low-cut shirt again.”
“I once asked him for a raise and he said if I lifted my skirt a little bit he’d think about it. I put in my two weeks’ notice and lied to my co-workers about why I was leaving.”
“He always called me a ‘girl’ and when I explained to him that I wasn’t a girl anymore he said yeah, he could tell, and I’d never felt more ashamed about my body.”
“He always had time to watch the game but never had time to help around the house.”
“He liked how I looked when I was young and then when I got older he suggested plastic surgery was an option.”
“He said there was no harm in looking at other women. Not like he was going to do anything about it, he’d said to my face even when I knew
otherwise.”
“He showed me his dick unsolicited and acted like he was offended I didn’t want to see it, so he told everyone at school that I was a whore and everyone believed him over me.”
“He assaulted me and got away with it. I never told anyone because I was ashamed and because I thought no one would believe me.”
“Once the casket was in the ground it was like all the women finally had the space to breathe and share their real thoughts.”
“Me too.”
“Me too.”
“Me too.”
“Me too.”
“Me too.”
“Rest in peace, asshole.”