RED CARPET INTERVIEWER: Wow, this dress. Love the one-sleeve look and this high-cut slit. Who are you wearing?
MOVIE STAR: Thank you. Tonight, I’m wearing Abraham Lincoln. The emerald choker, hair clip, and bracelet are from Van Cleef & Arpels.
INTERVIEWER: You look smashing tonight. Who are you wearing?
MOVIE STAR: Thank you. I’m wearing Mark Twain. My kids picked out this dress. Go to bed, kids!!
INTERVIEWER: How did you accessorize?
MOVIE STAR: This is a gold belt and bangles from Lorraine Schwartz.
INTERVIEWER: You look gorgeous. Who are you wearing? Vintage Valentino?
MOVIE STAR: No. Vintage Vasco da Gama.
INTERVIEWER: Is he an Italian designer?
MOVIE STAR: No. He’s a Portuguese explorer.
INTERVIEWER: Here’s someone who knows how to be sexy. Who are you wearing?
MOVIE STAR: Thank you. Tonight, I’m wearing a strapless Mother Teresa.
INTERVIEWER: And the clutch? Prada?
MOVIE STAR: The clutch is Pablo Escobar.
INTERVIEWER: The youngest nominee in history! You know how to keep it fun. Who are you wearing?
MOVIE STAR: Thank you. Tonight, I’m wearing Dorothea Lange’s Migrant Mother. With over $8,000,000 in sapphires from Tiffany.
INTERVIEWER: And the boots?
MOVIE STAR: The boots are Grace Kelly slingbacks.
INTERVIEWER: I love this dress. The one-shoulder strap is the hottest look of the night. Tom Ford for Gucci?
MOVIE STAR: No. Gerald Ford.
INTERVIEWER: Gerald Ford for Gucci?
MOVIE STAR: No. Just Gerald Ford.