McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Articles by
Andrew Knott
Andrew is a writer living in Orlando. His book, Fatherhood: Dispatches From the Early Years, is available now.
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April 20, 2021Alanis Morisette’s “Ironic” Revised for Exasperated Parents
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February 13, 2020I’m the Valentine’s Card Your Three-Year-Old Made
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June 27, 2019Motivational Quotes Revised for People With Reasonable Expectations
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February 25, 2019FAQ: School Book Fair
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January 26, 2018I Took a 24-Hour Social Media Break and Now I Am a Better Parent and the Ruler of the Earth and All Creatures That Inhabit It
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June 16, 2017I’m a Stay-at-Home Dad in a Television Show or Movie
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December 3, 2016Dad of Newborn Girl Explains the Importance of Women’s Issues to a Table of Women at a Coffee Shop
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June 17, 2016Rules for My Kids That I Enforce With the Relentlessness of a Starving Wolverine
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February 18, 2016Ted Cruz Presidential Campaign Promise or Fourth Grade Student Council Campaign Promise?
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March 24, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes
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March 18, 2025Senator Schumer Votes to Let the Big Wooden Horse into Troy
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January 15, 2025Signs You Are a Gen-Xer Who’s About to Turn Sixty
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March 25, 2025The Plan to Bomb the Middle East Finally Made It Out of the Group Chat
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March 28, 2025Although I Voted for You to Be Turned into Soup, There’s No Reason We Can’t Be Friends Before You Are Liquefied
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March 28, 2025Brutally Honest Emails from Academia.edu
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March 27, 2025We Are the People Who Buy Red Delicious Apples
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March 27, 2025A Letter from Believer Editor Daniel Gumbiner