McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Articles by
Andrew Knott
Andrew is a writer living in Orlando. His book, Fatherhood: Dispatches From the Early Years, is available now.
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April 20, 2021Alanis Morisette’s “Ironic” Revised for Exasperated Parents
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February 13, 2020I’m the Valentine’s Card Your Three-Year-Old Made
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June 27, 2019Motivational Quotes Revised for People With Reasonable Expectations
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February 25, 2019FAQ: School Book Fair
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January 26, 2018I Took a 24-Hour Social Media Break and Now I Am a Better Parent and the Ruler of the Earth and All Creatures That Inhabit It
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June 16, 2017I’m a Stay-at-Home Dad in a Television Show or Movie
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December 3, 2016Dad of Newborn Girl Explains the Importance of Women’s Issues to a Table of Women at a Coffee Shop
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June 17, 2016Rules for My Kids That I Enforce With the Relentlessness of a Starving Wolverine
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February 18, 2016Ted Cruz Presidential Campaign Promise or Fourth Grade Student Council Campaign Promise?
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January 15, 2025A Marriage Proposal Spoken Entirely in Office Jargon
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January 8, 2025Did You Even Consider Every Possible Lived Experience Before Recklessly Posting Your Chili Recipe on Social Media?
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January 9, 2025I Will Pay Any Amount to Not Pay My Taxes
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January 15, 2025Signs You Are a Gen-Xer Who’s About to Turn Sixty
Recently
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January 20, 2025Welcome Home, President Nyarlathotep
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January 17, 2025Who Said It: Donald Trump or Martin Luther King Jr.?
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January 17, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: An Interview with Annie Leibovitz
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January 17, 2025It’s About Time Our Government Finally Reflects the Real America—An Airport Terminal at 10 a.m. on a Weekday