ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
C.L. Mah
C.L. Mah lives, works, writes, and contemplates the demise of humanity in Minneapolis.
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April 16, 2021My Two-Year-Old’s Guide to Potty Training Your Parents
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December 30, 2019My Three-Month-Old’s Guide to Sleep Training Your Parents
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October 2, 2018“We’re Pregnant,” Said a Man
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July 6, 2018Completely Neutral, Race-Blind College Admissions Questions
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February 6, 2017Application Requirements for Becoming Our Couple Friends
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December 11, 2014I Am a Police Officer Whose Use of Lethal Force is Perfectly Consistent
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January 14, 2014Living the Dream: The Life of a Senior Search Engine Marketing Specialist
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May 16, 2013I Don’t See Race
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January 24, 2013The Middle Manager’s Oath
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August 30, 2012I Am a Job Creator
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September 30, 2009A Literal-Minded Corporate Executive Gives the Opening Address at his Company’s Sales Conference
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April 15, 2009Excerpts From My 2008 Tax Return, Form 1040EZ
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
Recently
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner