ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Emily Delaney
Emily is a writer and video producer based in NYC.
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April 5, 2024I’m the Draft List at This Brewery and No, You Can’t Have a Light Beer
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November 3, 2021A Note from Your Friends at Federal Student Aid
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September 27, 2021Quiz: Can You Get Your Invoice Paid?
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September 9, 2021As the Author of This Sex Column, I Assure You, I Have Had Sex Before
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July 15, 2021Tweets from the Bath & Body Works Crisis Communications Team in the Year 2030
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June 11, 2021If I Moved Back to My Hometown, As Envisioned by My Parents
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May 10, 2021Human Teeth Development Meeting Notes
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February 19, 2021I’m a Short Afternoon Walk and You’re Putting Way Too Much Pressure on Me
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December 1, 2020I’m the 4:30 P.M. Sunset and I’d Like to Clarify a Few Things
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November 19, 2020A Peek Inside Our 37-Step Hiring Process
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October 13, 2020The Only Good Films Are the Ones the Internet Has to Explain to You, According to Me, a Guy Who Took One Film Class in College
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May 27, 2020As If Things Weren’t Bad Enough, You Also Like Sparkling Water Now
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner