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Articles by
Emily Delaney
Emily is a writer and video producer based in NYC.
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April 5, 2024I’m the Draft List at This Brewery and No, You Can’t Have a Light Beer
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November 3, 2021A Note from Your Friends at Federal Student Aid
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September 27, 2021Quiz: Can You Get Your Invoice Paid?
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September 9, 2021As the Author of This Sex Column, I Assure You, I Have Had Sex Before
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July 15, 2021Tweets from the Bath & Body Works Crisis Communications Team in the Year 2030
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June 11, 2021If I Moved Back to My Hometown, As Envisioned by My Parents
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May 10, 2021Human Teeth Development Meeting Notes
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February 19, 2021I’m a Short Afternoon Walk and You’re Putting Way Too Much Pressure on Me
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December 1, 2020I’m the 4:30 P.M. Sunset and I’d Like to Clarify a Few Things
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November 19, 2020A Peek Inside Our 37-Step Hiring Process
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October 13, 2020The Only Good Films Are the Ones the Internet Has to Explain to You, According to Me, a Guy Who Took One Film Class in College
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May 27, 2020As If Things Weren’t Bad Enough, You Also Like Sparkling Water Now
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
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February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
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February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
Recently
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February 21, 2025Don’t Tread on Me—Unless You’re a Billionaire with a Ketamine Addiction, in Which Case I Enthusiastically Support It
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February 21, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Finding Win Ng
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February 21, 2025Why I Chose to Reenter the Matrix and Be a Living Battery for the Machines
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February 20, 2025Take Him Seriously, Not Literally