McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and get access to author interviews, content calls, discounts at our store, and more. Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.
Articles by
Ilana Gordon
Ilana Gordon is a writer and comic currently living in Los Angeles. Follow her on Twitter. Do not follow her in real life.
-
April 15, 2022Hello, It’s Me, Elijah. Who’s the Jerk Who Drank My Cup of Wine?
-
March 26, 2021The Four Questions, Modified for Another Passover in Quarantine
-
June 22, 2020I’m the Guy Setting Off Fireworks Every Night In Your Neighborhood and I Have You Right Where I Want You
-
May 8, 2020Your Mother Leads a Guided Meditation
-
October 18, 2019Welcome to the Tenth Circle of Hell: The Dance Circle
-
July 11, 2019Federal Sentencing Guidelines for Billionaires
-
March 28, 2019Supervillains React to Betsy DeVos’s Proposal to Gut Funding For the Special Olympics
-
March 14, 2019I Want a President I Can Drink a Beer With
-
January 15, 2019It’s Time to Take Up Arms In the War Against Toxic Masculinity
-
November 7, 2018Now That I’ve Finished Burning Down Your Village, It’s Time For Us to Come Together and Heal
-
October 31, 2018Thank You For Participating In America’s Annual Voter Purge
-
August 10, 2011Mary Poppins: A Job Review
Trending 🔥
-
January 15, 2025A Marriage Proposal Spoken Entirely in Office Jargon
-
January 8, 2025Did You Even Consider Every Possible Lived Experience Before Recklessly Posting Your Chili Recipe on Social Media?
-
January 9, 2025I Will Pay Any Amount to Not Pay My Taxes
-
January 15, 2025Signs You Are a Gen-Xer Who’s About to Turn Sixty
Recently
-
January 20, 2025Welcome Home, President Nyarlathotep
-
January 17, 2025Who Said It: Donald Trump or Martin Luther King Jr.?
-
January 17, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: An Interview with Annie Leibovitz
-
January 17, 2025It’s About Time Our Government Finally Reflects the Real America—An Airport Terminal at 10 a.m. on a Weekday