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Articles by
Jessica M. Goldstein
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December 16, 2024Baby, It’s Me, Polio, and I’ve Missed You
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November 21, 2024I’m a Good, Normal Family Man Who Just Wants to Inspect Your Genitals Before You Pee
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March 14, 2024Boeing Announces New Safety Policy: “Fuck It, We Ball”
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February 2, 2024A Day in the Life of Taylor Swift, as Imagined by Right-Wing Conspiracy Theorists
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June 27, 2022We’re the Supreme Court and, Honestly, We Just Want You All to Die
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December 2, 2021The Democratic Party’s Guide to Keeping Your Rights
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January 6, 2021Bridgerton’s Lady Whistledown Is Pleased to Announce She Is Joining Substack
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November 2, 2020Making Sure Your Vote Counts: A Guide
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June 1, 2020The City of Minneapolis Releases Statements of Probable Cause for Other Notable Violent Incidents
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November 14, 2019Introducing: Gender-Reveal Funerals
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June 19, 2019These Detention Centers Aren’t Concentration Camps Because Technically Auschwitz Is Trademarked
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May 17, 2019Honestly, We Just Hate Women
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January 15, 2025A Marriage Proposal Spoken Entirely in Office Jargon
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January 8, 2025Did You Even Consider Every Possible Lived Experience Before Recklessly Posting Your Chili Recipe on Social Media?
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January 9, 2025I Will Pay Any Amount to Not Pay My Taxes
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January 15, 2025Signs You Are a Gen-Xer Who’s About to Turn Sixty
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January 20, 2025Welcome Home, President Nyarlathotep
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January 17, 2025Who Said It: Donald Trump or Martin Luther King Jr.?
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January 17, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: An Interview with Annie Leibovitz
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January 17, 2025It’s About Time Our Government Finally Reflects the Real America—An Airport Terminal at 10 a.m. on a Weekday