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Articles by
Jessica M. Goldstein
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December 16, 2024Baby, It’s Me, Polio, and I’ve Missed You
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November 21, 2024I’m a Good, Normal Family Man Who Just Wants to Inspect Your Genitals Before You Pee
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March 14, 2024Boeing Announces New Safety Policy: “Fuck It, We Ball”
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February 2, 2024A Day in the Life of Taylor Swift, as Imagined by Right-Wing Conspiracy Theorists
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June 27, 2022We’re the Supreme Court and, Honestly, We Just Want You All to Die
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December 2, 2021The Democratic Party’s Guide to Keeping Your Rights
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January 6, 2021Bridgerton’s Lady Whistledown Is Pleased to Announce She Is Joining Substack
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November 2, 2020Making Sure Your Vote Counts: A Guide
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June 1, 2020The City of Minneapolis Releases Statements of Probable Cause for Other Notable Violent Incidents
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November 14, 2019Introducing: Gender-Reveal Funerals
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June 19, 2019These Detention Centers Aren’t Concentration Camps Because Technically Auschwitz Is Trademarked
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May 17, 2019Honestly, We Just Hate Women
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March 18, 2025Senator Schumer Votes to Let the Big Wooden Horse into Troy
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March 24, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes
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March 10, 2025As an American Jew, I Feel Completely Reassured for My Safety Now That Trump Has Targeted the Epicenter of American Antisemitism, Columbia University
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March 13, 2025It’s a Shame We Have to Betray Our Allies, Starve the Poor, Halt Scientific Progress, Destroy the Environment, and Eliminate the Freedoms Enshrined in the Bill of Rights, but at Least My Investment Portfolio Is Also Tanking
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March 28, 2025Although I Voted for You to Be Turned into Soup, There’s No Reason We Can’t Be Friends Before You Are Liquefied
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March 28, 2025Brutally Honest Emails from Academia.edu
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March 27, 2025We Are the People Who Buy Red Delicious Apples
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March 27, 2025A Letter from Believer Editor Daniel Gumbiner