The Believer Magazine
Articles by
Keith James
Keith is a writer from San Diego. He has written for Bleacher Report and Weekly Humorist. Keith will be releasing his second novel COMMUNITY POOL through Humorist Books this summer. You can find more of his work on Beef City Bounce House.
-
June 21, 2024You Really Want to Start Skateboarding in Your Midthirties? Here Are Five Picks for Relaxing Outdoor Chairs Instead
-
January 4, 2022I’m HBO Max, and Oh My God, What Is It Now?
-
November 29, 2021Wake Up, You are Joining the Marvel Cinematic Universe and You Need to Start Taking Steroids Right Now
-
November 9, 2021I Am Godzilla, King of Monsters, and I, Too, Had a Brief Relationship with Pete Davidson
-
August 25, 2021Details Regarding Timothy’s Moby-Dick-Themed Bar Mitzvah
-
August 11, 2021I Used My Wife’s Vibrating Dildo to Achieve My Second Prostate Orgasm and Now I’m on a Train Going to Hogwarts
-
June 2, 2021Best STEM Toys For One-Year-Olds, Also, Calm Down
-
April 8, 2020I Am Ying Ying the Panda, and I Think You Know How My Quarantine Project Is Going
-
January 14, 2020I Am the L.L. Bean Catalog, and I Have Chosen Pete Buttigieg as My King
-
October 7, 2019I Am Godzilla, King of Monsters, and I Too Was Contacted By the Trump Administration to Investigate Hunter Biden
-
September 18, 2019The Five Best US Cities for Concrete Dick Slabs
-
July 31, 2019I Took the “Discover Your Patronus” Test On Pottermore and Got Vermont Senator Patrick Leahy
Trending 🔥
-
February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
-
February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
-
February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
-
February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
Recently
-
February 21, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Finding Win Ng
-
February 21, 2025Why I Chose to Reenter the Matrix and Be a Living Battery for the Machines
-
February 20, 2025Take Him Seriously, Not Literally
-
February 20, 2025So You’re Trying to Rationalize Rooting for USA Hockey as Our Country Turns into an Autocracy