Handyperson Needed
We need a handyperson to help us with some of the carpentry and finish work in the new International Library of Youth Writing at McSweeney’s headquarters in San Francisco. Click for details.
Articles by
Matt Hearnden
Like many people, Matt was born. A former child, he is tall but he is not beets. Matt has been writing on the internet for years to no fanfare. In his spare time, he annoys his fiancée while she tries to work from home, plays with his toy poodle puppy, and reaffirms his love for the Oxford comma. Matt is also a LinkedIn Top Voice, for some reason. (He told me he does not wish to speak in the first person at this time.)
Trending 🔥
-
February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
-
February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
-
February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
-
October 11, 2006Back from Yet Another Globetrotting Adventure, Indiana Jones Checks His Mail and Discovers That His Bid for Tenure Has Been Denied
Recently
-
February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
-
February 10, 2025A Note from the Contractor Working on Robert Plant’s Ambitious Home Remodeling Project
-
February 7, 2025More Politically Neutral End Zone Slogans for the NFL
-
February 7, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: An Interview with Martine Syms