McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and get access to author interviews, content calls, discounts at our store, and more. Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.
Articles by
Matt Newcomb
Matt Newcomb has lived in several of the top apple and Christmas tree producing states and currently resides in New York’s Hudson Valley. He spends his days writing words and asking college students to write other words. He would usually rather be playing basketball.
Trending 🔥
-
February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
-
February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
-
February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
-
February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
Recently
-
February 21, 2025Don’t Tread on Me—Unless You’re a Billionaire with a Ketamine Addiction, in Which Case I Enthusiastically Support It
-
February 21, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Finding Win Ng
-
February 21, 2025Why I Chose to Reenter the Matrix and Be a Living Battery for the Machines
-
February 20, 2025Take Him Seriously, Not Literally