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Articles by
Michael Ward
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August 2, 2024The Items You Find in Your Kid’s Camp Backpack at the End of the Week Are Your Path to Inner Peace
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March 28, 2022A Streaming Service Fantasy Series Director’s Speech to the Cast and Crew at the Start of Filming
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August 9, 2021Excerpts from The 48 Laws of Power…for Cats
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May 21, 2021The Netflix Algorithm for Parenting
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February 19, 2021The Best Games to Play with Your Children after Nearly a Year in Quarantine
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January 27, 2021AITAs for Parents of Young Children
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October 31, 2019A Complete Classification System For the Different Actions That Follow Your Four-Year-Old Yelling “Dad, Watch This!” At You From Across the Room
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September 9, 2019Famous Movies Rewritten For Parents of Young Children On Their First Date Night Since Their Youngest Child Entered the Four-Month Sleep Regression
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February 6, 2019Please Listen Carefully, Because Our Menu Options Have Changed and Are Also a Hellish, Kafkaesque Experiment Developed to Test the Effects of Psychological Warfare
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October 18, 2018Fresh Middle-Ground Alternatives Between NIMBY and YIMBY
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August 10, 2018Tips for Watching the Perseid Meteor Shower with Your Toddler, as Written by Someone Who Has Never Seen a Meteor Shower and Who Has Never Interacted with a Toddler for More Than a Few Minutes
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June 14, 2018The Top Ten 2018 Men’s World Cup Teams Ranked By How Easily the First Lines of Each Country’s National Anthem Could Be Slipped Unnoticed Into Expository Voiceover In a Lord Of The Rings Movie
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March 24, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes
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March 18, 2025Senator Schumer Votes to Let the Big Wooden Horse into Troy
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March 26, 2025Excerpts from a Red-Hot Right-Wing Romance Novel
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March 25, 2025The Plan to Bomb the Middle East Finally Made It Out of the Group Chat
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March 31, 2025I’m a Free-Thinking Centrist with Only Right-Wing Ideas
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March 31, 2025Son, I Forbid You to Join That Rowdy, No-Good Zorba the Greek Fan Club
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March 28, 2025Although I Voted for You to Be Turned into Soup, There’s No Reason We Can’t Be Friends Before You Are Liquefied
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March 28, 2025Brutally Honest Emails from Academia.edu