ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
R.J. Happel
R.J. Happel is a freelance writer from Jonesborough, Tennessee. In her spare time, she enjoys painting, bluegrass, and eating baked ziti. God called her but she let him go to voicemail. Y’all means “all.”
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August 8, 2019Reviews of New Food: Alligator Meat and Fried Kool-Aid
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March 14, 2018Student Activists or Part of a Sinister Plot?
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October 19, 2017Your University’s 11 Distinct Flavors of Discrimination Ranked from Mild to Salty to Extra Spicy
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April 28, 2017Thad, the Worst Student in Your Intro Class, Has Something to Say
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February 17, 201713 Ways to Survive the Repeal of the Affordable Care Act Using River Gods and the Occult
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner