The Believer Magazine
Articles by
Ryan Abbott
Ryan Abbott is a writer based in Vancouver.
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March 27, 2025We Are the People Who Buy Red Delicious Apples
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April 15, 2019The Perfect Marathon Pacing Strategy Is to Rip It
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November 15, 2017Please, Turn On Notifications
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February 24, 2017I Am Interested in Going to an Event Near You Tomorrow
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November 28, 2016I Bet You’re Really Fun at Parties
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May 7, 2014Waiting for Flashmob
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October 25, 2011My Emergency Contact Information
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October 14, 2009Miles Davis’s Container Gardening Tips
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March 24, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes
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March 18, 2025Senator Schumer Votes to Let the Big Wooden Horse into Troy
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March 26, 2025Excerpts from a Red-Hot Right-Wing Romance Novel
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March 25, 2025The Plan to Bomb the Middle East Finally Made It Out of the Group Chat
Recently
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March 31, 2025I’m a Free-Thinking Centrist with Only Right-Wing Ideas
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March 31, 2025Son, I Forbid You to Join That Rowdy, No-Good Zorba the Greek Fan Club
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March 28, 2025Although I Voted for You to Be Turned into Soup, There’s No Reason We Can’t Be Friends Before You Are Liquefied
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March 28, 2025Brutally Honest Emails from Academia.edu