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All posts tagged
autumn
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November 13, 2024Rules for Our Cranberry Bog
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October 11, 2024Brutally Honest Instructions for Visiting a Pumpkin Patch
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September 26, 2024Frequently Asked Questions About Leaf Blowers
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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October 25, 2023I Love When the Leaves Turn Beautiful Colors and Fall to Their Deaths
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October 24, 2023For Your Crimes, You Have Been Sentenced to Unpaid Labor at a Pumpkin Patch
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September 25, 2023What I’ll Do with the One Week I Can Wear My Sensible Fall Jacket
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September 23, 2022On the Eighth Day, Leon Leonwood Bean Said, “Let There Be Flannel Shirts”
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August 30, 2022I’ll Drink this Pumpkin Spice Latte Before Labor Day, But Only Because Demons Are Making Me
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November 24, 2020How to Make a Cornucopia, Because It’s Come to This
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December 20, 2024Great Philosophers on Santa’s Naughty and Nice Lists
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December 20, 2024An Art Nouveau Calendar for a Terrible Fucking Year
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December 19, 2024An Open Letter to Sarah from Love Actually, to Be Delivered In the Two Seconds Before She Answers Her Phone for the Second Time While Karl Is Tenderly Dry Humping Her
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December 19, 2024A Producer Attempts to Pitch The Nutcracker