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December 31, 2023Introducing Our University’s New Executive Vice President of Saving Money
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April 27, 2023Help Us Remove Spam Facebook Accounts, So You Can Get Flooded With Bullshit from Real Facebook Accounts
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February 14, 2022Happy Valentine’s Day from Facebook. Here’s a Photo of You and Your Ex
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October 28, 2021I Am Proud to Announce That Starting Today, Our Company Still Sucks Shit
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October 6, 2021Job Opportunity: Join the Facebook Apologies Team
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July 19, 2021Seeking Despotic Facebook Moderator
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December 7, 2020I Am the Facebook Algorithm and I Come to You Now, Requesting a Swift and Merciful Death
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June 16, 2020An Open Letter to the College Roommate I’ve Barely Spoken to Since Freshman Year Who Keeps Referring to Me as His Black Friend
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November 5, 2019Rebranding to FACEBOOK Is the Best You’re Going to Get From Us, So Just Try to Appreciate It
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October 10, 2019Why Mark Zuckerberg Is a Better Chinese Person Than I Am, According to My Grandmother
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December 20, 2024Great Philosophers on Santa’s Naughty and Nice Lists
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December 20, 2024An Art Nouveau Calendar for a Terrible Fucking Year
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December 19, 2024An Open Letter to Sarah from Love Actually, to Be Delivered In the Two Seconds Before She Answers Her Phone for the Second Time While Karl Is Tenderly Dry Humping Her
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December 19, 2024A Producer Attempts to Pitch The Nutcracker