McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Join our Patreon at $10/month (or more) and receive a coupon for a discount on the Decorative Gourd Beanie, Gourd mugs, and our glorious new Advent Calendar. Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.
All posts tagged
ted-cruz
-
March 24, 2022At This Important Judiciary Hearing, I Hope I Can Win Over At Least One QAnon Conspiracist
-
February 18, 2021Abandoning Your Freezing Constituents? Come to Cancún!
-
February 11, 2021I’ve Seen the Evidence, and There’s a Lot of It, and It’s Overwhelming and Very Persuasive, and I’ve Decided to Ignore It
-
January 11, 2021Grendel Should Not Have Rampaged Through Our Capitol, But Slaying Him Will Only Further Divide Our Clans
-
January 7, 2021We Must Take a Bipartisan Approach to Stopping This Armed, Violent Rebellion Us Republicans Have Perpetuated For Years
-
November 15, 2018As a Walking Demographic, Here’s My Opinion
-
November 5, 2018Can You Find the Hidden Images In These 15 “Magic Eye” Photos?
-
October 1, 2018My Husband, Senator Ted Cruz, Is Just a Regular Guy
-
April 4, 2016Why I’m Supporting the Demonic Creature That Emerged from the Depths of Hell In This Year’s Presidential Election
-
February 18, 2016Ted Cruz Presidential Campaign Promise or Fourth Grade Student Council Campaign Promise?
Trending 🔥
-
October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
-
September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
-
August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
-
October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
Recently
-
November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
-
November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
-
November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
-
October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner