Four Bible Verses That Describe the Kick-Ass Birthday Party the Apostles Were Planning for Jesus Before They Learned He Was Going to Die for Our Sins - McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

Internet Tendency

Daily humor almost every day since 1998.

Daily humor almost every day since 1998.

McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and get access to author interviews, content calls, discounts at our store, and more. Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.

Tragically, Jesus died just a few months before his 34th birthday. Here are four bible verses that describe the kick-ass birthday party the apostles were planning for Jesus, before they learned that he was going to die for our sins.

- - -

Please help support our writers and keep our site ad-free by becoming a patron.

Become a patron

Subscribe to McSweeney’s Internet Tendency’s Substack

Suggested Reads

December 2, 2020

Interviews with People Who Have Interesting or Unusual Jobs: Bryan Quinby, Singing “The Birthday Song” at Chuck E. Cheese

by Suzanne Yeagley
November 28, 2011

Assimilate Or Go Home: Dispatches from the Stateless Wanderers: Bible College

by D.L.M.
March 4, 2010

Universal Invoice for a Manhattan Child’s Birthday Party

by Justin Warner
December 9, 2020

The 100-Percent True History of Santa and Jesus, Probably

by Charlie Moe and John Moe

Trending 🔥

March 10, 2025

As an American Jew, I Feel Completely Reassured for My Safety Now That Trump Has Targeted the Epicenter of American Antisemitism, Columbia University

by Andy Schocket
March 6, 2025

Killing Baby Boomers Will Save the United States Government Trillions

by Katie Botkin
February 27, 2025

Changes Our University Is Making to Pre-Comply with Possible Future Regulations

by Talia Argondezzi
February 27, 2025

“Democracy Dies in Darkness” Wasn’t a Warning; It Was Our End Goal

by Carlos Greaves

Recently