Scientists largely agree that Earth is in the midst of a sixth mass extinction, so we will be called upon to say goodbye to animals with increasing frequency. Unfortunately, the average American knows pitifully few ways to do so. If you ask anyone on the street, their list will likely stop short after just two: “In a while, crocodile” and “See you later, alligator.” In light of this, we offer the following non-exhaustive list of animal farewells:
Take care, Polar Bear
It’s been real, Hawaiian Monk Seal
See ya mañana, Marine Iguana
Sorry we’ve been so negligent, Sumatran Elephant
It was nice to meet ya, Vaquita
Gotta bounce, Greater Sage-Grouse
Have a great day, Giant Manta Ray
Kick rocks, Arctic Fox
Sorry for revvin’ our engines, Galápagos Penguins
Wouldn’t you agree highways are fine though, Greater One-Horned Rhino?
So long, Dugong
Our bad on the grievous damage to your corpus, Yangtze Finless Porpoise
Take a hike, San Clemente Loggerhead Shrike
You’re about to become a lacuna, Bluefin Tuna
Gotta bail, North Atlantic Right Whale
Look, we had to destroy your habitat to make way for a villa, Eastern Lowland Gorilla
Time to die, Monarch Butterfly
Keep it funky, Black-Handed Spider Monkey
Luck-wise, you’re the opposite of a four-leaf clover, Mountain Plover
The thing is, people just really like golfin’, Bottlenose Dolphin
Fun to hang with you, Golden-Mantled Tree Kangaroo
We know the acidification of the oceans is going to leave a mark, Great White Shark
There’s just a lot of us, Pygmy Hippopotamus
A whole, whole lot of us, Chambered Nautilus
I get why you say it seems like we weren’t even tryin’, African Lion