ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Mike Langley
Mike Langley is a writer and a middle school English teacher in Brooklyn, NY. He is a Features Contributor at The Onion, and writes a weekly humor newsletter, The Libel.
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August 7, 2024Animal Farewells for the Sixth Extinction
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June 3, 2024We’re Having a Get-Together. Could You Bring Your Massive, Poorly Trained Dog?
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May 20, 2024So Sorry! Just Seeing Your Ransom Note Now
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March 20, 2024I Am the New York Times’ Paywall, and If I Let Any Non-Subscribers in, They’ll Kill My Family
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October 4, 2023Well, I May Have Debased Myself to Become Speaker of the House, but At Least I Didn’t Accomplish Anything
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September 5, 2023Our Self-Driving Cars Will Save Countless Lives, But They Will Kill Some of You First
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May 15, 2023I Will Defend Free Speech to the Death. Or Until an Autocrat Asks Me to Stop
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March 10, 2023The NYPD’s Right-of-Way Regulations for Bike Lanes
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October 31, 2022If Elected, I Promise to Murder You
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January 14, 2021Asking Me to Stop Beating You with This Sock Full of Quarters Will Only Further Divide Our Nation
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November 8, 2024Updates on the Arc of the Moral Universe
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November 6, 2024Here’s Why a Second Death Star Won’t Be That Bad
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November 6, 2024I Don’t Hate Women Candidates. I Just Thought an Erratic and Vindictive Criminal Was Worthier of My Vote Than a Woman Candidate
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November 8, 2024Finally, the Elites Have Been Defeated by the Billionaires