Dear Students,
As legislative support for universities has continued to decline, we have had to look for other ways to fund higher education. The recent transition of the football stadium from the economically quaint “Wildcat Field” to “Kroger Stadium” demonstrates how beneficial corporate sponsorship can be.
With that in mind, we began exploring other opportunities to keep your tuition affordable and are pleased to share some of the exciting new course opportunities available next semester.
We highly encourage all students to consider one or more of these courses as sponsorship dollars are dependent on high enrollment.
New Course Offerings
A-H 350 TWENTIETH CENTURY ART
Sponsored by Hobby Lobby
Through lectures, readings, discussions and research, this course examines major issues raised in art and criticism from 1900-1999. Students will learn that Georgia O’Keeffe’s flowers are definitely just flowers, and that Andres Serrano’s Piss Christ is proof of the collapse of American morals and the need for prayer in public schools.
ECO 201 PRINCIPLES OF ECONOMICS
Sponsored by Goldman Sachs
The study of the allocation of scarce resources from the perspective of the individual. This course will demonstrate how eliminating deductions + expiring tax breaks for the middle class to pay for low corporate tax rates = a super good idea. The course will also discuss all the reasons restaurant wait staff don’t need to make more than $2.13 an hour anyway.
ENS 200 INTRODUCTION TO ENVIRONMENTAL STUDIES
Sponsored by Monsanto
A broad-ranging, multidisciplinary introduction to current environmental issues and problem solving presented through a series of case studies. Students will explore the benefits of Roundup and learn it’s actually more like a spray-on vitamin than a pesticide.
FSC 630 ADVANCED MEAT SCIENCE
Sponsored by Waste Management
Discussion of chemical and physical properties of meat-like substances used in fast food restaurants. This course explores the ingenious ways byproducts can be combined with artificial meat flavorings to make dollar menu “burgers.” Reprocessing of waste foods will also be discussed.
HIS 561 HISTORY OF LATIN AMERICA
Sponsored by the U.S. Department of Immigration
and Customs Enforcement (ICE)
A broad survey of Latin American nations focusing on their social, political and cultural development and how much better it would be for everybody if illegals would just stay home. By the end of the course, students will learn valuable skills such as profiling and how out to complete an ice.gov tip form to maximize the potential for a cash reward.
JOU 532 ETHICS OF JOURNALISM AND MASS COMMUNICATION
Section 001: Sponsored by Fox News Network
Section 002: Sponsored by CNN
An examination of ethics in the media. Students will reason through issues that arise in the practice of journalism like how to cut off the mic when an opposing guest’s argument gets too credible and how to draw fancy charts to make nonsensical points look like facts.
NFS 101 HUMAN NUTRITION
Sponsored by Chik fil-A
An elementary study of the principles of American nutrition. Students will learn to “eat mor chikin’” and how the aroma of peppermint, like that found in the Peppermint Chocolate Chip Milkshake®, improves concentration and can actually make you do better on your midterm paper.
PHR 222 DRUGS, MEDICINES AND SOCIETY
Sponsored by Johnson and Johnson Pharmaceutical
This course is designed to help future medical students and pharmacists understand the social value of a heavily medicated society. Students will learn about the importance of supporting neighborhood pharmacies (Buy local!); that opioids can be effective for just about anything, including headaches and menstrual cramps; and how addiction is totally not the industry’s fault.
PHI 100 INTRODUCTION TO PHILOSOPHY: KNOWLEDGE AND REALITY
Sponsored by Lowes Home Improvement Stores
An introduction to philosophical studies. This class will focus on great works of philosophy including Friedrich Nietzsche’s “Philosophizing with a Hammer.” In this innovative course, students will be able to explore the merits of a 16 oz Kobalt hammer with a smoothed face, steel rip claw in the actual place where hammers are sold. They will also learn how to choose complementary nails, such as those found on Aisle 14.
PS 440 THE PRESIDENCY
Sponsored by Koch Industries
This course explores the political genius of the 45th President of the United States through his relationships with foreign leaders like Little Rocket Man, Mad Alex and The Dopey Prince, while also demonstrating the ineptitude of those who hate America, including Cryin’ Chuck, Sneaky Dianne Feinstein and Pocahontas. Part of the class will be devoted to the President’s tweets and how people in the fake news media, including Sleepy Eyes Chuck Todd, Psycho Joe Scarborough, Little George Stephanopoulos and Dumb as a Rock Mika can’t pull anything over on the man Sen. Orrin Hatch recently called a better president than Lincoln or Washington.
RS 130 INTRODUCTION TO COMPARATIVE RELIGION
Sponsored by The 700 Club
Comparative study of major world religions of which there is only one: Christianity. Students will explore the merits of the Spanish Inquisition and learn how something similar should be implemented in the U.S. in the interest of national security, only with Evangelicals in charge instead of Catholics. Course fees cover a field trip to the Creation Museum in Petersburg, KY where students will be able to see a diorama of dinosaurs aboard an exact replica of Noah’s Ark.
SOC 249 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
Sponsored by E! Entertainment Television
Note: This is an online class
A study of the evolving structure of the family. Topics covered include conflict, divorce, pregnancy and parenthood as seen on Keeping Up with The Kardashians. The course will also study Revenge Body With Khloé Kardashian and discuss whether episodes like “From Mom To MILF” will ultimately fuck up kids or just make them more famous. Requirement: You must have access to E! Entertainment Television as it is the video “textbook” for the course. All class discussions will take place via Twitter using the hashtag #Edukation.