People always ask me, “Why are you so sad, Eeyore? Is it because of the election?” Election Day or regular day, it’s all the same to me. Here’s my advice for accepting the inevitable.

Take a Deep Breath

It’s not much of an activity, but then again, I’m not much of a donkey.

Vote

Sure would be nice to vote. Some of us can’t. Least of all, a gray, gloomy donkey from Great Britain with no US citizenship.

Sigh.

Don’t worry about me. Even if I voted, they’d just write on my ballot, “It’s only Eeyore, so it doesn’t count.” Nobody listens to me, anyway.

Say One Thing You’re Grateful For

“Things could be worse. Not sure how. But it could be.” Saying this out loud always makes me feel better. If that doesn’t work for you, you can always just feel grateful for havin’ a choice between two parties. Republican Party. Democratic Party. You’re lucky to be invited to any party. I wouldn’t know. Parties are for popular animals. Guess I’m not fun enough to be invited.

Go Outside

You’ll be surprised to hear how important going for a walk is. I sure was. Rabbit told me, “Eeyore, did you know thirty minutes of walking can boost your mood and make you feel better?”

“No, Rabbit,” I sighed.

“It’s very simple,” said Rabbit. “First, you go outside. Then, you bring your attention to your senses—that is, what you’re feeling on the inside and the outside. Finally, you take some time to notice the world around you.”

“And this makes you feel better?” I asked.

“Of course,” sniffed Rabbit.

So, the next morning, I went outside. I thought about what I was feeling inside.

“Nobody likes me.”

I thought about what I was feeling outside.

“My tail is cold.”

Finally, I took some time to notice the world around me.

“I suppose a lot of folks like fascism now. Guess I’ll have to get used to it.”

Then I went back inside. I thought that was enough to feel better for one day.

Take Time to Thank Someone for Noticin’

Always nice to be noticed. Kind of you to read this far.

Stress Eat Thistles

Now, I’m not a fan of much, but I’m a fan of thistles. Eating a bunch of thistles never made me feel better, but it never made me feel worse, either. That’s why I keep a big pile of thistles in my bed. Used to keep them in the kitchen. But then, just as I was getting comfortable, I’d get hungry. I’d have to get up and ruin the whole thing. Just my luck.

Of course, keeping thistles in bed means most of my thistles have been sat on. They don’t taste as nice after I’ve sat on them. But that’s good enough for me.

Stop Looking at the News. And the Clock. And the Calendar.

No point worryin’. Can’t tell when this day is gonna be over anyway. Could be weeks. Or months. Or years. Sounds like a typical Tuesday to me.

Give Up

End of the road. Nothing to do and no hope of things getting better.

RSVP “Yes” to Thanksgiving

Can’t wait to hear Uncle Jerry’s take on the future.